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Thursday, August 16, 2018
HOW TO DISCIPLINE KIDS WITHOUT PUNISHMENT
Kids are innocent. They do not know how to express their feelings in the proper way. Sometimes in a playful mood and other times, in an anger they do something that as a parent we do not like it.
The ways you act during that time impact their behavior. If you handle the situation calmly and explain things to them, may be it takes time to understand them but that help them to know the root cause of the situation. If you shout or give them a punishment then out of curiosity they again do the same thing.
Being a parent or guardian, I know you want to teach your children discipline. Believe me, you are doing great job in bring up your child. When it comes to kids, they are fun loving, they have build their own world in their imagination where they talk, play, smile.
They need care, love and attention from you. In short, there is nothing called bad behavior in them. Instead they are doing best in themselves and we are unable to understand them.
The most decent and effective way to guide kids is we need to treat them in such a way, as we want them to treat others i.e. with understanding and compassion.
When we yell, shout, spank on them, they start rebelling us and become more aggressive. Their heart is like clay whatever treatment, behavior we show to them, that clay start molding in that shape. While guiding kids we need to be more attentive as our words directly influence their heart.
Punishment is not a right way to teach discipline or Discipline does not mean punishment.
Most of the people think it is impossible to discipline children without rewards or punishment. The reality is it depends upon your understanding of discipline. Discipline has hidden word “self” in itself which symbolize self-controlling of yourself.
As a parent we want our kid to understand the difference between right and wrong, what is good and bad for him. We want him to guide in a way that he will become good human being along with good citizen.
Our motive behind teaching them discipline is to guide them in a right direction so that they would not landed up in a bad situation. Everyone wants good for his or her kids that’s why teaching discipline is very important.
Discipline does not mean punishment always. Research shows that punishment results in misbehavior, irritations in their behavior. Punishments cause kids to be more defensive and aggressive. It causes release of adrenalin and other fights hormones and cause switch off others hormones like reasoning, cooperatives, which results in more drastic situation.
Punishment causes a gap between kids and us. They start fearing from us, starts hiding things from us that result in disconnection.
With the time, our influence on them gets decreases. It results in lowering their IQ, as they do not feel confident enough to learn new things.
Punishing your child is not an effective way to raise happy, responsible and considerate kids. It always teaches wrong lessons.
Instead of punishment, if we stay calm and teach them everything within set limits, our kids will always follow those things. They never resist guidance. They will share their feelings; thoughts with you because they know you are always there for helping and guiding them if they did anything wrong.
Ways to Discipline Kids Without Punishment:
Here are some simple and practical ways for teaching discipline to your children without any punishment or scolding.
Control your own emotions:
Before guiding anything to kids we need to regulate our own emotions this is how they learn to manage theirs. Being a parent, we are their role models.
We are the one whom they see, admire. Whatever reaction we show to them, they behave accordingly. Thus, we need to control our emotions as much as possible. We need to handle situation calmly as much as we can.
Respect their feelings:
Children have very innovative mind if it is grown in right direction. It is not always good to make them follow our decisions. We also need to respect their feelings and thoughts.
Try to listen their words calmly, help them in understanding the things by their perspective. If you always reject their feelings, they become dishearten by that and refuse to accept anything from you.
Listen to them carefully and accordingly guide them.
Learning through Games:
Kids have playful nature. They love to play new games. If you interact with them friendly and make them learn things through games. They love to do it.
You can play games likes puzzles for making their mind sharp. For making them realize the importance of money you can play business today game with them.
Children do the things that you do. They have strong power of imitation. You can take benefit of that thing by making them learning new things without getting irritating.
Thus, that will help you in making them understand without punishment like you can brush your teeth with them.
It will help them in knowing the importance of brushing teeth and also teach them how to do brush. You can make them learn principles by doing it in front of them like saying thank you to everyone while purchasing things from stores, by de-boarding buses or rickshaws. Be a role model for your children.
Set limits but with Empathy:
Setting limits and boundaries are very important in every ones life in order to guide correct and proper paths. When kids itself know and realize that this thing is wrong for them so they accordingly guide themselves.
You can make them understand things either rudely or through calm both have different effect on his mind like
“It is too late, why can not you listen to me idiot, go to sleep” – rude manner
Or you can say it calmly “I know you want to play more but it is good for your health if you go to bed now” – Calm manner
If you feel like from past days you are not able to connect with your child properly not even able to guide them in proper direction. Start from today. It’s never be too late. Your child is your responsibility. The more friendly and calmly you behave with them, more they become frank with you and they love to share things with you.
Being a parent it is really important to understand things with a point of view. Guidance is important but punishment is not important always. Care them with love. Respect them before you want them to respect you.
Improve yourself first if you want to improve them. If you want them to share everything with you, you need to take first step towards them then only they can take others steps towards you. “Love and care can even turns barren lands into green land.” remember that.